


Paging Doctor Gekiyaku!

by Rerichia



Category: UTAU, Vocaloid, [that's their series name right. I looked it up but there's no fics in there so? My City Now], kuzutokaze
Genre: Other, the others show up but I havent written them in....yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-16
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-23 18:58:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14338941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rerichia/pseuds/Rerichia
Summary: "GY Pharmacy is a highly-built establishment run by Japan's leading innovators in medicine..."...is what Gekiyaku, owner of a back-alley medical store, wishes she had. Tormented by her past, Gekiyaku moved to Tokyo to try a hand at medicine! She'll just show them all what an AMAZING doctor she can be! Or so she thought. Unfortunately for the Satanist, she's stuck with the bare minimum but that won't stop this bombshell blonde from getting to the top!Debts, Divas, and Death all come together in GY Pharmacy![This summary is so BAD I'M SORRY I COULDNT THINK OF ANYTHING GOOD]





	1. Chapter 1

“Those have got to be the ugliest shoes I’ve  _ ever  _ seen!”

The statement – claimed by Kuzudarou – rung sharply throughout the aisles of GY Pharmacy. A wizened old man, nearby Aisle 2, perked up at the sudden announcement but quickly went back to rifling through the numerous pill bottles.

Gekiyaku, however, was the least bit amused.

“What’s wrong with my shoes?” she pouted, sticking out a bandaged leg from the counter. Fastened neatly with a strap were her favourite black ballet pumps. They were simple and cute. Gekiyaku liked simple and cute things.

“That is precisely what’s wrong with them,” Kuzudarou stuck an accusing finger at the pumps. “Look at them! Simple!”

“I  _ like _ simple!”

“In 2018?”

Kuzudarou shook his head.

“Yaku, from the bottom of my heart, I’m BEGGING you – please buy new shoes.”

Gekiyaku rolled her eyes.

_ Trust Darou to hate minimalism _ , she thought, glancing at her friend.

His neatly-combed rasin hair was swept away, allowing his blazing emerald eyes to frame peachy skin, and all wrapped up in a chocolate kimono and a black umanori – it was plain to see Kuzudarou was anything but normal. Extravagance seemed to be his specialty. So was theatrics, if his five-inch high-heels were anything to go by.

Compared to him, Gekiyaku was underdressed. All she chose to wear was her favourite black dress. At the very least, they matched her shoes, a monochromatic colour scheme.

“If only your looks suited your personality…” Gekiyaku spoke, exhaling a deep sigh. “Then maybe you wouldn’t have such bad luck with relationships…”

“H-hey!” Kuzudarou exclaimed. “I’ll have you know that Dayone thinks I’m great!”

“She’s supposed to say that,” Gekiyaku rolled her eyes. “Family aren’t allowed to call you ugly. It’s like, an unspoken rule… or something.”

Kuzudarou scoffed.

Gekiyaku drummed her fingers on top of the counter. She glanced at the old man, who seemed to be making his way towards her.

Once face-to-face, Gekiyaku slapped on a bright smile.

“Good morning!” she said. “How may I – the marvellous Doctor Geki – help you today, sir?”

“Ah, you see…” the old man spoke a raspy tone.

There was a pause as the old man considered his words.

“Never mind,” he said and left the pharmacy.

No sooner did he hobble out the exit, Gekiyaku pounded her fists on the counter.

“Dammit! There goes my rent money! Why won’t anybody buy anything?”

Kuzudarou sighed. “Maybe he would’ve brought something if you had better shoes.”

Gekiyaku shot her friend a withering glare.

“Darou?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut the fuck up.”


	2. In which Dayone becomes a murder apologist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dayone pls.

Darou took a glance at his surroundings. Judging from the dusty pink-orange sky, the sun had just set, which was time for him to exit from Tokyo’s noisy backstreets.

He would’ve liked to stay longer, but Gekiyaku, already running late to pay her bills, insisted he go home. They were good friends, but she couldn’t afford to let someone like Darou watch over her prized pharmacy, especially after Darou had accidentally set fire to a department store once… at least, he _claimed_ it was an accident. 

Nevertheless, Darou breathed out a sigh, either from relief or annoyance, as a slate coloured roof approached in view. The rest of the _ikkodate_ [detached house] followed, and before he knew it, Darou was face-to-face with his house. Living quarters, he called it.

The exterior was beautifully garnished, with polished oak and glossy marble. Along the walls were several bonsai trees, sprouting bright green leaves and thick trunks, intertwining their branches together, like a canopy. The house was also protected by quite a formidable iron wall, about 6ft in height, sealed by a steel gate in the middle. A nearby panel read ‘一眼クズ’ [Ichigankuzu, see notes for this] accompanied by a pristine buzzer underneath.

With a flick of his wrist, Darou gave the button a hard push. A metallic noise resounded, before the gate swung open, revealing the neatly-tiled patio.

 _New tiles?_ Darou thought, walking up the pathway. _I guess Yo--_

“DAROU!” A nasally voice interrupted his thoughts - the front door swung open, and before he could say anything, a figure tackled him to the floor.

“Ouch!” Darou muttered, as he opened his eyes. In front of him was an eager Kuzudayone - as always, her eyes were shrouded by a decorated cloth, giving the usual blank look, but she was grinning from ear to ear.

“Dayone,” he said. “What’s up? You seem happy.”

“Guess what? Guess what?” Her tone was shaky and eager.

“What?”

“Shirezu is coming today!”

“Shirezu...Shirezu…” Darou gave his relative a quelling look. “Remind me who that is again?”

Kuzudayone rolled her eyes.

“You know! Shirezu Namae! The little girl from the hospital?”

Darou groaned as he dusted off his clothes.

“Oh, you mean _that_ Shirezu.”

Truth be told, Darou knew exactly who Kuzudayone was referring to. At first glance, Shirezu was nothing more but a soft-spoken white-haired sweetheart, who was ditzy at times. Unfortunately for Darou, her clumsiness was very prevalent - so prevalent that the first time they met, Shirezu almost killed him. He still had the scars.

“Dayone, may I remind you that Shirezu Namae just so happens to be the girl wHO ALMOST KILLED ME LAST SUMMER?” 

“You can’t blame her! She didn’t mean to collide into you, sending you tumbling right into the wishing well!”

“You are unbelievable.”

With that, Darou rose and made way for the house. 

Kuzudayone sighed.

“Come on, Darou!” Kuzudayone called out as she followed him inside. “Do you know how much I had to BEG to get permission? I'm stuck cleaning for two months! You could at least _pretend_ you're overjoyed.”

There was a pause from Darou as he considered her statement.

“Dayone, why _did_ you exactly invite her over?”

Kuzudayone stopped in her tracks.

“Oh. Well. There's, you know…”

Her voice drifted off as she fumbled with her fingers. Upon closer inspection, Darou noticed a faint crimson blush appear underneath her mask.

“Oh my god,” he exclaimed. “OH MY GOD! ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH SHIREZU NAMAE, DAYONE!?”

Darou was hysterical - his voice pitched up a tone, and he could physically feel his throat lodged with a sickening feeling.

 _No, no._ He assured himself. _Dayone can't be in love with that maniac. They barely know each other. Plus, how on earth would SHE get a partner before ME? It doesn't make sense. It can't make sense!_

“Well…” Dayone piped up. “You're not wrong, but you're also not right.”

“WHAT!?”

Darou felt as though he might collapse from pure shock.

“Let me explain. No, I'm not in love with Shirezu! That's crazy. She's like, what, 15? Gross. Anyway, I invited her over because, well, _she's_ in love with someone. Some guy from the hospital, apparently.”

Darou was speechless.

“Isn't young love so weird?” Kuzudayone continued. “Anyway, this so-called boy just so happened to be dispatched the other day. But you'll never guess where he's living! In our area! Isn't that CRAZY? So I thought I might as well kill two birds with one stone and invited her over. I'm gonna dress her up real nice so we can go meet the guy of her dreams and wow him with her beauty!”

There was a moment of silence as Darou considered what to say.

“She doesn't have arms, Dayone,” came his feeble reply.

“And so? What does that have to do with anything?”

“I'm pretty sure not having arms isn’t exactly desirable.”

“Oh, hush, you! It's what's on the inside that counts. Plus, are _you_ really one to talk about outside beauty?”

Kuzudayone leaned forward and brushed Darou’s bangs away, revealing his forehead. With a manicured pointy finger, she poked his exposed glabella.

“May I remind you that _you're not exactly human_ yourself?”

“Okay, I get it! Ouch!” Darou brushed away her accusing finger. “Don't touch my face, I wouldn't want you undoing the glamour spell - I just got it perfect.”

Kuzudayone giggled.

“It'd be so much easier if you'd just wear a mask. Like me!”

Darou gestured to his eyes.

“And cover up these emerald beauties? No thanks! I’ve spent ages perfecting them!”

He paused for a minute.

“By the way, when exactly is Shirezu coming over?”

“Right now,” a little voice interrupted the conversation.

Both Ichigankuzu members turned their heads to the house entrance, where a petite young girl stood. Her white hair clashed against the house's dark door frame. Her clothes were incredibly baggy, especially the loose sleeves - so large that nobody could detect she lacked any arms.

“Good morning.” Shirezu spoke, brandishing a smile. “It's been awhile, Ichigankuzu household.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> > Thank you for reading chapter two! I think I've decided that although this is [technically] a story with plot, I'd write it in kind of a slice of life-esque style? That means that I'll be writing from different characters perspective and such, but don't worry, OBVIOUSLY Gekiyaku is going to have the most since this is,,,her kinda thing. I just wanted to try a hand at Darou's POV.  
> A HUGE SPECIAL THANKS! To Aisha for beta'ing this chapter once again! [1 TRILLION HEART EMOJIS] THANK YOUUU ILYSM  
> Also thank you for everyone who has left kudos [especially those mysterious guests! Who are YOOOOOOU?] - thank you so much!
> 
> > I love? writing Darou and Dayone's conversations, that's why this entire chapter is like,, 99% speech LOL, I can't help myself - whenever I write close family members I always have to have them bicker at least ONCE.  
> > I recommend checking out their designs since that last passage may be a bit too confusing if you don't know what they look like!  
> Since links aren't working for me, here's a manual address:  
> http://utau.wiki/utau:kuzudarou   
> http://utau.wiki/utau:kuzudayone  
> \- Check out the other three too! They're INCREDIBLY well-drawn!
> 
> >> A WORD ABOUT “ICHIGANKUZU"  
> Okay so! Since this story takes place in modern day Japan, I thought it'd be pretty weird for the characters to not have surnames? Geki and Kaze can get off, considering their backstory (Geki doesn't remember, and Kaze is like,, a ghost) Technically these two can also get off without having a surname (since they're like yokai?) but since I'm of the idea that Darou and Dayone are relatives (though cousins or siblings or distant I'm STILL not sure) I'd ought to make that clear with having them have the same surname.
> 
> Lo and behold, their fake surname “Ichigankuzu”.  
> Originally, it was “Hitotsumekuzu” - a play off the Cyclops-like yokai, Hitotsume-kozō (One-Eyed Little Monk) which they eerily resemble (Darou does, at least - WE CANT EVEN SEE DAYONE’S ACTUAL FACE BUT HER MASK ONLY HAS A CYCLOPS EYE DRAWN).  
> In Japanese, that'd be “一つ目” for Hitotsume and “クズ”for Kuzu, which is from the first part of their names, KUZUdayone and KUZUdarou, leading to ‘Hitotsumekuzu [一つ目クズ][One-Eyed Trash/First Stratch - according to google]’ - I decided to make it like a family naming system where they're called Kuzu + plus random Japanese name (but that comes up later)
> 
> But Ichigan (一眼) is the general/better Japanese word for one-eyed - by combining it with Kuzu, you get “One-eyed Kuzu”. The characters in Kuzu (クズ) apparently mean “candy” (according to Google Translate, the surname translates as ‘Single eye candy’ - wtf) which is SO CUTE. But since the word (クズ) is ALSO a Japanese word meaning scum/trash/garbage with the same characters Ichigankuzu can be [LOOSELY] translated into either “One-eyed candy” (heh heh, guess they're “eye candy”) or “One-eyed scum/trash” which is pretty cool since they're contrasting! TBH, I see it as ‘One-eyed scum’ because Edgy Surname™ For Easier Self-Hatred ™ 
> 
> Anyway, that's all I had to say about the fake surname. I hope that makes sense! Also I am not...an expert in Japanese at ALL, so if some beneficial linguist is somehow reading this little ol’ fic of mine and is more than willing to help me on what the surname truly means, by all means - feel free to correct me!

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU READ THIS ENTIRE THING - THANK YOU T_T!!!  
> Ever since Aisha [StickyBug on here] introduced me to the kuzutokaze characters, I've been in LOVE with them ever since. We keep meme'ing them, which just goes to show that memes are truly the sign of true love - but ANYWAY, I was inspired by Aisha's own fic - please check them out on her page!! I was gonna link them but I have NO CLUE how to do that, anyhow, they are GOLDMINES OF COMEDY - so I figured I'd try my hand at writing one.  
> Keep in mind that this chapter... It's more of a prologue/short introduction? It was a rough draft, so my apologies if it isn't good. BUT... I had to post SOMETHING for them, no matter the quality.  
> Okay, that's it - see you next time. [hopefully]


End file.
